Spiritual gift

I never really thought I would see this day. I thought I would be in school for the rest of my long life, but as I walked in the Arena that one Sunday morning, I felt overwhelmed with excitement and fear. As I raced through the arena to try to find the place I was suppose to line up at, I caught myself wondering what I would do next after I walked across that stage to recieve my diploma holder (of course they would send my diploma once my grades were posted). This question has been asked of me several times and I always said: "I dont know. It all depends on what happens with Kevin because his fourth year of service is almost here. I did not want to get into a job for a year and then we up and move. Plus, we are planning to extend our family starting in June." This was my answer for everyone. I felt almost depressed every time I was asked that question. As I stood there in the line, I though about this question often. I sat there for a while just giving my thoughts up to God, asking him for guidance in this joyous day of celebration.

It was finally time to leave to walk to our seats for the ceremony. I was pretty fatigued since I took a zertec at 6 AM that morning because my allergies were out of whack, plus lack of sleep since 2:30 Saturday morning. I tried to keep myself occupied as the speakers drove on until it was time for us to recieve out diploma holders. After I took my seat from walking across the stage, I ponder on the many ways I could keep myself busy now that I did not have homework to worry about. I thought about reading biographies of the many saints that I was interested in, especially Saint Therese of Lisieux who is my patron saint and who I named my daughter after. I though about how she lived her life those short 24 years. She did not do anything spectacular to make herself famous, it was quite the opposite. She focused on the little things in life, like giving water to her father while he worked out in the garden. They were things that a person would not pay attention to most in their life. I thought so much about those little things as I waited for the last of the engineers to take their seats. I could not help but to ask for her help in time of need while I would be at home with my beautiful daughter these next years. I asked for the help of Our Mother, Mary, to give me patience as my daughter gets closer to becoming two years old.

Toward the end of the ceremony, I thought of all the support and encouragement I had gotten over my last few years of college. I thought of the pride that my relatives had for me for finishing up college even after having a child after my first year (well, technically my third year; I transferred to the University of Daytin after having two years under my belt from my cold college before Kevingot stationed in Ohio) of college. I never felt so much pride from my family in so long. I always felt like I had to prove mself and earn repspect for my decisions. My journey from high school to this point has been a crazy one. From getting married my sophomore year in college, to having a baby after my third year. My plans never seemed to go as I wanted them to, but I trust God that he knows what he wants for me and that my plans do not matter anymore. I ould leave it up to him because he knows what he wants for me, how he wants me to live my life. I would do what his will is rather thatn my own will. I finally would give him this, even though he alreay knows what he has in store for me. I would give up my stubbornness to live out his will as his son Jesus Christ did through his death and resurrection.