Good ol' Catholic Guilt

I'm Catholic... so... "I know guilt." You know what I mean?

Actually,... truth be told,... I don't even know what I mean. Well, I know on a superficial level in that I frequently hear quotes such as: "I got that Irish Catholic Guilt in me..." "I grew up Catholic, so I know guilt..." "You used to be Catholic, so you should know that guilt stuff..." and on, and on. Yet, I do not know in a personal, experiential, way that level of guilt that would compare to the descriptions just mentioned.

So why am I writing this post?

Well, while I may not have experienced this "guilt" at the level of notoriety that seems to be prevalent, I think there may be something to it. Because I may not have experienced it, I will not dismiss the possibility that some people do, in fact, feel this way (or are predisposed to feel this way). And, this post is mainly addressed to such people.

First, let me apologize from the depths of my heart if I just came off as being haughty. It was truly not my intent. I have heard such phrases said so often, for so long, that I sat around trying to figure out where people come up with it (where they are coming from). And, it was in self-reflection that I think I may have figured out the key to understanding it.

The big question I asked myself is: "do I feel guilt?" As silly a question as that may seem, it actually was profound to me. My knee-jerk answer was "of course I do... why wouldn't I?,..." and then, I proceeded to think of the reason(s) why I feel guilt.

I think above serves as a really good example of one such instance when I feel guilt: If I do something, particularly unjustly, to offend someone. How about when I let someone down?-you bet ya!,... how about when I do something I shouldn't?... guilty as charge... a flood of examples came streaming into my thoughts, and there seemed to be one thread that was common to all the situations: the BIG, three letter bad word. Yes, my friends, the word that must never be spoken, and even more rarely should be committed: S-I-N.

Lets not kid ourselves... we all sin. Yet, something inside us tells us that, maybe-just maybe, we shouldn't. Sometimes, though, that doesn't stop us from doing it... right? It is in those times when we know we can do better that we feel guilt the greatest.

But,... what of this prolonged, pronounced, even prominent sense of guilt that seems to prevail the realm of common knowledge?

I think it is important to point out that I think it is a really awesome thing that people are experiencing the emotion. Not in the diabolical sense that I would in any way enjoy some one's suffering; it truly pains me that someone would suffer... particularly if it is needless suffering. It is awesome in that in order to experience this emotion, it first assumes that the person has a sense of right and wrong. When we experience guilt, we know that we can sit back and think "what did I do wrong?"... which means that, to some extent, those who experience guilt truly want - deep down - what is good and just in the world.

Even more so, if a person has this long/deep sense of guilt, this suggests that his sense of right and wrong is very strong and cannot be muted no matter how much his intellect may want. It is this sense of right/wrong, the conscience, that is a wholly good thing; the stronger the better because the stronger it is the more that, deep down, you care. That is the thing that is awesome.

But, here is the hard part,...

Guilt is not a pleasant emotion (as it should be). I would say that it is so for a reason. Experiencing guilt is the first step to healing. It is only the first step, though... and if we do not follow through with the other steps, we will not only continue to feel guilt, it will also begin to intensify. It may even intensify or be prolonged enough that we lose hope, or we give up... but I will let you in on a little secret: it will not go away. We should not be experiencing an extended amount of guilt, nor do we have to.

Guilt is only the first step, in that it is the first step in allowing God to form our heart. The more we ignore this, or worse, the more we resist God working in our hearts the more discomfort we ultimately cause ourselves. God does not want us to be in pain and suffering, but He will not stop us from self-inflicted wounds. God wants what is best for us, but He will never stop us from turning our back on Him. God, the Loving Father that he is, though... no matter what... will always be looking off to see if his prodigal children will be coming back. And, when he sees us coming back, WAY off in the distance,... out of compassion He runs out to meet us... to embrace us... to clothe us in His redemption... and fill us whole because we who were once dead are now brought to new life!!(Luke 15 11-32)

But, this will never happen if we never follow through with what guilt should move us to do, and THAT is the hard part. Guilt, first and foremost should move us to sorrow... From sorrow to forgiveness; forgiveness not necessarily in the sense of giving, but in seeking... From seeking forgiveness to reconciliation... From reconciliation to redemption.

God's Mercy is free, and yearning for us... if only we were to ask. The greatest obstacle... the greatest enemy, though, is ourselves. How often do we, out of pride, refuse to humble ourselves? To recognize our wrongs? To recognize our faults,... the bad things we had done? the good things he have failed to do? That reconciliation with God is found in the Sacrament of Forgiveness and Mercy... but why do we allow ourselves to be discouraged from confessing our sins aloud as if we never sin?

My brothers and sisters... please let me invite you to come to God's Mercy,... allow it to heal you and work in your lives. Allow me to plead with you to join me in finding the joy in life through reconciliation found in the Sacrament of Confession. Let us be that prodigal son who, after turning ourselves from God through sin, through guilt realized:

"Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee: I am not worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants"

And rise,... coming home to our Father.

God Love You!